First things first, let's preheat the oven to 450 degrees F (230 degrees C). Hot stuff coming through!

Grab that spud (potato), poke it all over with a fork, and pop it on a baking sheet. Bake it up until it's fork-tender, around 50 minutes to an hour. Once it's done, let it chill for about 10 minutes, then peel off the skin and mash it up. Oven can take a breather now.

Time to get cooking! Toss that mashed potato into a large skillet along with the ground beef, minced onion, water, pepper, cinnamon, cloves, and allspice. Bring it all to a boil, then simmer it down until it's nice and thick, which should take at least an hour. Patience is a virtue, folks!

Now, let's set the oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). It's showtime!

Line a deep-dish pie plate with one of your pastry sheets. Spoon in that flavorful beef and potato filling, then cover it all up with the remaining pastry. Give it a nice egg wash and a sprinkle of paprika for that extra oomph. Oh, and don't forget to cut a little vent for the steam to escape. Safety first!

Into the oven it goes for about 50 minutes. Keep an eye on those edges; if they start getting too toasty, cover 'em up with a bit of foil. Safety first, again!

And there you have it, a mouthwatering Tourtière ready to be devoured. Serve it up warm and watch those taste buds dance with joy.